The "Gift" of Singleness

Hi friends, it's been a little bit since my last post. I think that's typically how life goes for me, I'll be on it for a while and then things get busy or time gets taken up with other things and I forget to write here, forget to go to the gym, forget to wash my car (it needs it badly). I'm a bit of a head case and I understand this, but I also know that people can't be perfect, so while I will try to fix issues I have I'm not going to beat myself up about them.

I was inspired to write today because of a topic that was studied by my girls discipleship group last night.

Singleness

We're going over the book Disciplines of a Godly Woman in the high school girls discipleship I work with and so far it's been a really great book. I've read it before, I myself went through it as a high school girl and I remembered gleaning a lot of wisdom from it. It's been a good study and it's prompted good discussion, especially last night.
The chapter we covered was the Discipline of Singleness. I wanted to spend a lot of time talking together about this chapter because I think it's something that is constantly under attack, especially in high school age and up.

In this chapter Mrs. Hughes brought up singleness in a way I had never looked at it before and I wish in my high school days I would have known.

Now, some things have changed in my life since my last post, the most dramatic one would be that I have gotten into a relationship. Wow, that sounds so dry. I was sitting here trying to figure out how to put it out there without seeming too lame or gushy and weird about it, but it came out like how my grandmother would explain it. He's really fantastic, actually, and I am very very happy with how things are turning out. He's actually a guy I've had interest in for a long time, but the Lord is faithful to display His Sovereignty and even though we both liked each other for a little while, He didn't open that door until His timing was right.

 I am grateful for our relationship and he means a lot to me, but I know that in the Lord's eyes I am still "single". The Bible does not have the designations of "single", "dating" and "married". And I'm sorry close knit, conservative, Christian families, there's really not even "courting" mentioned. I'm not ragging on families who choose the courting route, but I also think what some may call courting and what some may call dating are similar if not the same. But I digress. The Bible basically has the designation of "single" and "married". The only thing that changes you from being single to married is an actual marriage. Not an engagement, not a promise ring, not moving in with someone, not having sex. A marriage. Legal and binding. "He looked deep in my eyes and told me he's going to stay with me forever and ever. He's my hubby." That's so sweet that he said those things! Did he say it in front of an official with witnesses and a legally binding contract? No? Oh, okay, well then, no.... no he isn't your hubby. And please do not fall into the thought, it leads to comfort in potentially sinful things. Treat him like a brother until you've signed those papers and said those vows.

Now, the real issue I see here for us single gals is that we've fallen into questioning "Has God given me the gift of singleness?" This causes girls to freeze and panic and think "Well I definitely want a relationship, would God really give me the gift of singleness?" Does this sound familiar? Does this sound right? How can we call something a gift but when we think about it, it causes us to retract in fear that it may be what God wants for us.

I think our problem is that we're looking at it wrong. We're looking at the gift of singleness as something that the Lord places in our lap and we have to deal with forever. But let me tell you, fellow Christian, if you are single today you have the gift of singleness. I think we tend to look at men and women who are in later years and are still single and we tend to think "Well, the Lord gave them the gift of singleness but He definitely didn't give it to me." And we are making a huge error here. Let me try to explain.

If we are saying that the Lord hasn't given us the gift of singleness, we are saying that while we are single, the Lord is withholding something good from us. How horrible is that? The Lord withholds no good things from us! Single Christian, the gift of singleness may or may not be a permanent part of your life, but please start seeing that you do possess the gift of singleness in this moment and there are great things to be done with it! Singleness leaves room for so much opportunity to serve the Lord in ways that married people can't.

I thank the Lord for the gift of singleness He has given me and I will thank Him for the gift of marriage if and when He decides to bestow it on me. In life the Lord doesn't throw the gift of singleness in your lap saying "Haha! You have the crappier gift, deal with it." No. He hands you the gift of singleness saying, this is my gift to you, use it well. And if one day he exchanges that gift for the gift of marriage then it is your task to use that gift as well. But until then, see yourself as blessed! You are single! Able to do work for the Lord in mighty ways. Do not see yourself as not fit for the gift of singleness, because according to the Lord, right now you are.

Love Always,
Christina