Hi there,
It's been a while :)
A couple of months have passed and bits and pieces of life have happened and I've lost track of time and not written. It's scary when you lose track of time. I was thinking today, as I sat at a picnic table, enjoying the company of friends, as we celebrated a friend of ours graduating, that time has gone by so quickly! It's winter time and that usually entails old friends coming into town for Christmas break and getting together to catch up a reminisce about old times. It's funny because we always bring up the same old stories, but laugh just as hard had we been telling it for the first time. No one ever really complains that the story has been told before, because it's just good to laugh and remember all those things.
With some of my friends I've known them for almost 8 years, and it still feels like just yesterday we were in high school, sitting in class, thinking that we had the whole world figured out and that we were on top of the game. I try to remember what it felt like, to have little to no responsibility, all the time in the world to do what we wanted. I know I took it for granted, not really understanding what it meant to have the freedom I did. And the sacrifice my parents made to send me to a private school where I could get an excellent, personal education. A place where the Word of God was taught everyday, not only by curriculum but by the teachers living it out.
As 2012 comes to a close I think about the friends made, friends lost, friends found again. It's crazy to think of how I viewed the world a year ago and how it's vastly changed since then. The Lord has brought me through some of the deepest valleys and highest hills of my life this year. At least, the deepest and highest so far. It's been a good stretch, caused me to mature a bit and to understand what it means to truly have a personal relationship with the Lord. I hope I keep on learning. I never want to get to a point where I think I'm the closest I'll ever be to the Lord.
I guess I'm writing this post just to say that you never know where you'll be this time next year, but it's fun to look back on where God has taken you. That's why I write in here, really. I like to look back and sometimes laugh at myself for my own silly thoughts, or to see how things changed.
2012, you have been an interesting year for me.
Love Always,
Christina
P.S.
I'm gonna start writing in here more ;)
Sunday, December 30, 2012
Saturday, October 6, 2012
It's pitch black in this room.
So, it's 2:10 am, and I'm still awake. It's the type of awake where your body is so tired, but your brain is running a mile a minute so you try to close your eyes only to realize 5 minutes later that you've been staring wide-eyed into nothingness. And when you go to blink you can actually hear your eyelashes flutter against your eyelid. It's that quiet. I'm sitting here at my cousins apartment on the couch on which I should be sleeping. But instead I am sitting here, legs crossed like its a quiet afternoon and I'm reading a book or knitting a sweater.
Maybe it's because it's the weekend. Or maybe it's the three cups of coffee I had today. Or maybe it's the frozen yogurt and candy we had while watching Mulan. Or maybe it's the feeling of wanting to accomplish something big, a feeling that we got while listening to Donny Osmond belt out what is one of the greatest Disney songs "I'll Make a Man Out of You". I just wanted to join a karate class in that instance and climb a mountain for the heck of it, all at the same time! Or maybe God wants to speak to me... What better way to pass time than to be in His Word. And when I'm just going to the Word to be in it, I like to go to the Psalms.
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.
He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord
forever. (Psalm 23:1-6 ESV)
Haha this is the Psalm I turned to! A well known one even for people who aren't Christians.
What are some things I can learn about the Lord from this?
Well, first of all, He is my shepherd! Even by a worldly definition, a shepherd is one who leads, guards, guide a group or flock. Let's apply these terms in light of a perfect, omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent and good God, shall we?
Leads
The Lord is the director of my path, he sees my coming and my going and has an account for every step I have taken, take and will take. Even referring back to the passage he leads me by still waters, he makes me to lie down! He gives me rest. He leads me in paths of righteousness. He would not lead me in ways of the wicked.
Guards
He protects me! Even when I think life may be going awry, he is guarding me. Even though I walk through the shadow of the valley or death, I fear no evil! What can touch me while in His hand? What can destroy me it not of the Fathers will?
Guides
Similar to leads but not necessarily the same. It's an active step by step approach to the here and now. He is willing and able to help me in my time of need. My purpose is to follow him in obedience and accept that his purpose for me is for my best. You prepare a table for me, my cup overflows! Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life!
I mean what?! How great is God in the simple fact that he is my loving shepherd?!
Loving that he kept me up for this :)
Anyway, gonna try and sleep now.
Love always,
Christi a
Maybe it's because it's the weekend. Or maybe it's the three cups of coffee I had today. Or maybe it's the frozen yogurt and candy we had while watching Mulan. Or maybe it's the feeling of wanting to accomplish something big, a feeling that we got while listening to Donny Osmond belt out what is one of the greatest Disney songs "I'll Make a Man Out of You". I just wanted to join a karate class in that instance and climb a mountain for the heck of it, all at the same time! Or maybe God wants to speak to me... What better way to pass time than to be in His Word. And when I'm just going to the Word to be in it, I like to go to the Psalms.
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.
He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord
forever. (Psalm 23:1-6 ESV)
Haha this is the Psalm I turned to! A well known one even for people who aren't Christians.
What are some things I can learn about the Lord from this?
Well, first of all, He is my shepherd! Even by a worldly definition, a shepherd is one who leads, guards, guide a group or flock. Let's apply these terms in light of a perfect, omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent and good God, shall we?
Leads
The Lord is the director of my path, he sees my coming and my going and has an account for every step I have taken, take and will take. Even referring back to the passage he leads me by still waters, he makes me to lie down! He gives me rest. He leads me in paths of righteousness. He would not lead me in ways of the wicked.
Guards
He protects me! Even when I think life may be going awry, he is guarding me. Even though I walk through the shadow of the valley or death, I fear no evil! What can touch me while in His hand? What can destroy me it not of the Fathers will?
Guides
Similar to leads but not necessarily the same. It's an active step by step approach to the here and now. He is willing and able to help me in my time of need. My purpose is to follow him in obedience and accept that his purpose for me is for my best. You prepare a table for me, my cup overflows! Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life!
I mean what?! How great is God in the simple fact that he is my loving shepherd?!
Loving that he kept me up for this :)
Anyway, gonna try and sleep now.
Love always,
Christi a
Monday, September 17, 2012
Come Awake! Come Awake!
It's so strange to wake up in the morning and think about the day ahead. To think "I don't have the strength to face today." And then to realize that that's okay, I don't need strength, I don't have strength of my own to finish the day. I wasn't intended to walk this world on my own strength and my wonderful Father is gracious enough to give me His. To help me with each step I take, each word I speak and each thought I think.
Have you been feeling exhausted? Get home everyday only to want to curl up on the bed/couch and not move until you have to start all over the next day? That's how I've been for the past long while now. I used to blame it on being an "adult", for taking responsibility and becoming a functioning person in society. I used to say it was because I was spent from work, school, church, etc., but skirted around the fact that I was trying to rely on my strength only. I insisted on doing things myself, and resorted to living life on empty.
But, the Lord is wonderful and never leaves me to suffer on my own. He has been gently and lovingly teaching me that strength is not found in two extra cups of coffee a day, not in an extra hour or two of sleep, or in lazy time on the couch. Strength is only found in Him, and it's a strength that never runs out and is stronger that the strongest of worldly strengths. He gives freely, and blesses us with the ability to use that strength for His glory.
I have been so blessed, friends. The creator of the universe loves me and I am so unworthy! But for His own glory He has chosen me! I still don't understand it but I don't think I ever will.
I JUST WANT TO TELL EVERYONE HOW HAPPY JESUS MAKES ME.
HE MAKES ME HAPPY!
Love always,
Christina
Have you been feeling exhausted? Get home everyday only to want to curl up on the bed/couch and not move until you have to start all over the next day? That's how I've been for the past long while now. I used to blame it on being an "adult", for taking responsibility and becoming a functioning person in society. I used to say it was because I was spent from work, school, church, etc., but skirted around the fact that I was trying to rely on my strength only. I insisted on doing things myself, and resorted to living life on empty.
But, the Lord is wonderful and never leaves me to suffer on my own. He has been gently and lovingly teaching me that strength is not found in two extra cups of coffee a day, not in an extra hour or two of sleep, or in lazy time on the couch. Strength is only found in Him, and it's a strength that never runs out and is stronger that the strongest of worldly strengths. He gives freely, and blesses us with the ability to use that strength for His glory.
I have been so blessed, friends. The creator of the universe loves me and I am so unworthy! But for His own glory He has chosen me! I still don't understand it but I don't think I ever will.
I JUST WANT TO TELL EVERYONE HOW HAPPY JESUS MAKES ME.
HE MAKES ME HAPPY!
Love always,
Christina
Friday, September 7, 2012
Snapshots of Central America- Jennifer, Karen and Genesis
So, while searching for inspiration to write... I kept coming back to my passion for Central America and it's people, so what better to write about than those people?! These are people I love dearly and they hold a special place in my heart, a place that aches every time I think about not being with them.
Jennifer is my special friend. As I would bend down to hug and hold Jennifer she would whisper sweet words in my ear. Her heart is so sweet, and being the oldest she does a great job in watching over her younger sisters. They are a triple threat, but Jennifer has mind to be responsible in some ways. I wont forget the night that we had an evening service outside their house, as Jennifer saw her father returning home from a long day of work, her eyes and smile lit up like a spark and she ran into his embrace yelling "Papa, mi Papa!" Her heart is sweet, and her mind is innocent, I pray she stays that way.
Karen is a ball of giggles. Her smile could light up a room and her laugh is contagious. She loves to make others laugh to, she lives to be the center of attention. She loved to have me take pictures of her and then giggle uncontrollably when I showed her the picture. She gave me quite the arm workout because she was the one who wanted thrown in the air the most. She doesn't understand human limits yet, but it's okay. I would have done anything to make her smile. She looks up to Jennifer and tries to exercise her own authority over her younger sister, Genesis, but is so kind in her actions that she comes off as a sweet sister.
Genesis is the rebel of the group. A silent bug mercenary with big brown eyes, you can't help but fall in love with her. She would roam at her own free will around the sanctuary during the service, picking up random bugs by their wings and wave them in your face or set them on your lap to see you freak out. Her sick smile of pleasure was too cute to be mad at so you would brush the bug off with a shiver down your spine and pick her up to blow raspberries on her cheeks. She's quite the independent child and her loyalty is fickle, but you find yourself fighting to have it because of wanting to make her smile. Her high-pitched laughter remains in my mind remembering her flinging her entire body into my arms, trusting that I would catch her and not let her fall.
So, here is the beginning of what I hope to be an extensive series of posts about my brothers and sisters in Central America.
Jennifer, Karen, and Genesis
These three are something incredibly special to me. Three sisters, the oldest, Jennifer, can't be more than 8 years old, and they are apart of the church in El Salvador. These little girls were at every service, Bible study, and church event that was held. Their parents even hosted an evening service on the street outside their house. Each night, they would arrive to the church in the truck and come bolting out to crash into our arms speaking fond words, even though, half the time I had no idea what they were saying. I love to gather them in my arms lift them up to spin them around or throw them into the air. The simplistic joy that a few simple, broken words in Spanish accompanied with a hug could bring, is something that causes me to fall before my God in joy. Their giggles live in my memory and make me smile as I remember how innocent and sincere their love is.
They would sing along to the songs, thumb through their Bible to find the passage someone was reading and pray in earnest as the congregation did. They enjoyed children's church and usually had some picture to show.
When we came back from our short time in Honduras, the joy on their faces at seeing us again almost broke my heart with joy. I never knew the heart could feel that large with happiness and love. I wanted to keep them in my embrace forever.
Jennifer is my special friend. As I would bend down to hug and hold Jennifer she would whisper sweet words in my ear. Her heart is so sweet, and being the oldest she does a great job in watching over her younger sisters. They are a triple threat, but Jennifer has mind to be responsible in some ways. I wont forget the night that we had an evening service outside their house, as Jennifer saw her father returning home from a long day of work, her eyes and smile lit up like a spark and she ran into his embrace yelling "Papa, mi Papa!" Her heart is sweet, and her mind is innocent, I pray she stays that way.
Karen is a ball of giggles. Her smile could light up a room and her laugh is contagious. She loves to make others laugh to, she lives to be the center of attention. She loved to have me take pictures of her and then giggle uncontrollably when I showed her the picture. She gave me quite the arm workout because she was the one who wanted thrown in the air the most. She doesn't understand human limits yet, but it's okay. I would have done anything to make her smile. She looks up to Jennifer and tries to exercise her own authority over her younger sister, Genesis, but is so kind in her actions that she comes off as a sweet sister.
Genesis is the rebel of the group. A silent bug mercenary with big brown eyes, you can't help but fall in love with her. She would roam at her own free will around the sanctuary during the service, picking up random bugs by their wings and wave them in your face or set them on your lap to see you freak out. Her sick smile of pleasure was too cute to be mad at so you would brush the bug off with a shiver down your spine and pick her up to blow raspberries on her cheeks. She's quite the independent child and her loyalty is fickle, but you find yourself fighting to have it because of wanting to make her smile. Her high-pitched laughter remains in my mind remembering her flinging her entire body into my arms, trusting that I would catch her and not let her fall.
Our last church service, I was sitting next to Jennifer while Genesis roamed around the sanctuary, with her current victim, a moth, in her clutches. I hadn't been feeling too well, so I decided to walk on the porch around the sanctuary for fresh air, and found myself a chair to sit in with a view through the big double doors of the entire congregation. They were singing and praying and I found myself stricken with the reality that I was going to be leaving in a day. I couldn't imagine not being with these people everyday. It was at this moment that Jennifer appeared from around the corner with my water bottle in her hands. I had told her I wasn't feeling well so she looked concerned. I thanked her for bringing me my water and pulled her into a hug. It was at this moment I started to sob into her hair. I didn't want to leave, I wasn't sure I could. She rubbed my arms affectionately and placed her hands on my face. Searching my eyes for something, I'm still not sure what, she just searched my face. I thanked her again and sent her back to her seat. That night as we were saying our goodbyes to our family, I pulled my girls into one last embrace. Jennifer again placed her hand on each side of my face and simply kept repeating "Te quiero mucho" I replied with broken "Te amo"'s as I tried not to cry uncontrollably. They got into the cab of the truck and I held their hands as the truck began to pull away. Once our hands broke contact I simply stood in the middle of the courtyard watching the truck pull away, taking away part of my heart with it.
Even though it was sad, I thank the Lord because he has placed these precious girls in a family of believers where they can grow and flourish into women for Him. I would like to thank their parents, for being faithful themselves. For realizing what they, and what their children need. I would like to thank their father for working hard for his family and making sure they are raised in the Lord.
I love them dearly, and cannot wait to see them again! I will be back, and until then I will continue to pray for them. My precious girls, I miss you.
Love Always,
Christina
Coming back from the dead
So, I feel like my brain has gone into a creative coma and every time I tried to write something I wouldn't get anything out of it and so I haven't written here for a while.
But, now! At the perfect hour of one o' clock in the morning, when my brain just seems to be riddled with all sorts of silly thoughts, I thought it a good time to try and write!
I was just looking through some old photos from the past year or so and I was stricken with gratitude and amazement at just where God has brought me in this life. And the sites he's allowed me to experience along the way.
There's been loss and gain, Joy and sadness, trials and times of peace, defeat and victory, laughter and tears, and all in all there's been the Lord. And he has been completely and utterly faithful through it all, just like he promises. So of course it makes me reflect on all the times I didn't trust the Lord. When a trial or loss seemed so steep I didn't think I'd make it out alive. I am so busy worrying about myself I don't notice the Lord healing up the scars of the past.
I've been very fortunate, the Lord has trusted me with much and he has chosen me to help further his kingdom. If you are a believer, this is something he ha charged us all with. And some of the most joyous times in my life have been when sharing the gospel or ministering with the church family.
It only makes me so excited to see what the Lord has for me up ahead.
Love always,
Christina
But, now! At the perfect hour of one o' clock in the morning, when my brain just seems to be riddled with all sorts of silly thoughts, I thought it a good time to try and write!
I was just looking through some old photos from the past year or so and I was stricken with gratitude and amazement at just where God has brought me in this life. And the sites he's allowed me to experience along the way.
There's been loss and gain, Joy and sadness, trials and times of peace, defeat and victory, laughter and tears, and all in all there's been the Lord. And he has been completely and utterly faithful through it all, just like he promises. So of course it makes me reflect on all the times I didn't trust the Lord. When a trial or loss seemed so steep I didn't think I'd make it out alive. I am so busy worrying about myself I don't notice the Lord healing up the scars of the past.
I've been very fortunate, the Lord has trusted me with much and he has chosen me to help further his kingdom. If you are a believer, this is something he ha charged us all with. And some of the most joyous times in my life have been when sharing the gospel or ministering with the church family.
It only makes me so excited to see what the Lord has for me up ahead.
Love always,
Christina
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Today was a pointless drive, venti frap, long walk type of day
Feelings today:
Nostalgic
Alone
Betrayed
Replaced
Pathetic
Unwanted
Disgusting
And yet, through all of those emotions the Lord eventually brought me back to Loved.
I've gone back and forth between if I should post this or not but the Lord is teaching me too many truths not to.
Today's events have been interesting. The Lord was so faithful and gracious for us this morning that while no one should have stopped to get there car washed, he provided some to help. I was so encouraged and amazed by the Lords grace that I couldn't help but smile and laugh even as the rains came.
But then after everything my flesh came out once again and my pride left me stinging with bitterness and hurt. I searched and searched for someone to talk to, but when no one would answer their phone, the Lord reminded me that the only one I should rely on for comfort is Him. Even when the ones I consider closest to me seem to abandon me, He is here.
So here I sit. Alone, in a place that offers comfort and the Lord is reminding me that He is my stable place. I can reflect on my growth because I know the me before would have turned to self harm or pitying thoughts, but the Lord is charging me to turn to Him instead, and focus on thoughts of Him. I am alone, but also not, at the same time. I have my savior as my comfort and that's all I need.
I wish I could be the woman who looks at things of the past and laugh because what did my feelings matter? I'm okay now. But I can't. I just can't be that woman. I wish I could be the woman to know that my friends are hanging out without me, and be okay. But I can't. I can't be that woman. Not right now.
I am okay now. But things still happened and now this is where I am. Its an interesting place to be... But I am comforted because my God comforts me.
Weird mood today.
Love always,
Christina
Nostalgic
Alone
Betrayed
Replaced
Pathetic
Unwanted
Disgusting
And yet, through all of those emotions the Lord eventually brought me back to Loved.
I've gone back and forth between if I should post this or not but the Lord is teaching me too many truths not to.
Today's events have been interesting. The Lord was so faithful and gracious for us this morning that while no one should have stopped to get there car washed, he provided some to help. I was so encouraged and amazed by the Lords grace that I couldn't help but smile and laugh even as the rains came.
But then after everything my flesh came out once again and my pride left me stinging with bitterness and hurt. I searched and searched for someone to talk to, but when no one would answer their phone, the Lord reminded me that the only one I should rely on for comfort is Him. Even when the ones I consider closest to me seem to abandon me, He is here.
So here I sit. Alone, in a place that offers comfort and the Lord is reminding me that He is my stable place. I can reflect on my growth because I know the me before would have turned to self harm or pitying thoughts, but the Lord is charging me to turn to Him instead, and focus on thoughts of Him. I am alone, but also not, at the same time. I have my savior as my comfort and that's all I need.
I wish I could be the woman who looks at things of the past and laugh because what did my feelings matter? I'm okay now. But I can't. I just can't be that woman. I wish I could be the woman to know that my friends are hanging out without me, and be okay. But I can't. I can't be that woman. Not right now.
I am okay now. But things still happened and now this is where I am. Its an interesting place to be... But I am comforted because my God comforts me.
Weird mood today.
Love always,
Christina
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Anxiety and it's relatives
Okay so I posted on Facebook earlier that I wanted to talk about anxiety.
There are many reasons why I want to talk about it and here they are:
There are many different types of Anxiety disorders and just because you're anxious doesn't mean you necessarily have a disorder, and just because you're not anxious all the time doesn't mean you don't. There are some you may know of, OCD, PTSD, Social Anxiety Disorder, etc. Typically, to be considered as possibly having an actual disorder, you're going to have physical symptoms because of your anxiety. But, without knowing how to cope with anxiety you could develop a disorder. These are medical things I've looked up about anxiety but I want to talk more about the practical, applicable affects of anxiety and possible ways to combat them.
When I was a young girl, I developed a bout of depression and eventually general anxiety. Mind you, I'm self-diagnosed, I looked up symptoms and causes and put the pieces together and came to the conclusion that I had a problem. Now at the time, when it first developed, I had no idea what was going on. I just knew that suddenly my emotions changed and my energy was gone. I think it could have to do with hormone imbalances, which I've just learned can be a cause and I am now looking into maybe treatments or something to change that. But I was just a teenager when these changes started, probably came with puberty which is a big testament to the hormone theory. And instead of realizing that something may really be wrong, I practically word-vomited all over my xanga thinking everyone wanted to hear about my problems. Yes, I'm embarrassed now and laugh at how silly I was, but at the time it was a serious issue. And even looking at it now I can see patterns of mild depression.
I've struggled with the whole idea of depression because, as a Christian, I have never come to a solid conclusion on whether or not depression is something diagnosable and treatable through medication, or whether it's unsettled sin issues and not trusting the Lord well enough. I think I'm coming to the conclusion that while a lot of depression can come from unrepentant sin, or some issue with God, there are certain biological things that can happen to give you a disposition for depression.
After having people tell me that I needed to resolve my sins with God and depression would go away, and then feeling like I failed after it would come back again, I started to doubt my sincerity in repentance which drove me deeper into depression. It was a tangled web.
Now, to let you know, I still have depressive bouts, and it's worse when I do have unresolved sin issues, but it's more than that. It's a physical change as well as emotional. Every once in a while my whole countenance changes and it's something that I've learned to ride out and make the best of. Instead of wallowing in pity I try and work around it.
The Lord has taught me that, in all things, choose joy. That doesn't mean I'm happy-go-lucky all the time, but I'm joyful. I'm joyful because I have a hope greater than what bogs my flesh-ridden body, and one day I'll be free of it all.
So to get to the main point: Anxiety.
A few years ago, I developed an anxiety disorder because of a few dumb decisions I made and instead of facing the problem head on I hid it, and lived with the guilt, which eventually developed the disorder.
I'll be honest with you and let you know what happened. I entered the early college program before I was ready. I made mistakes, didn't attend class and ended up failing out of a class. Now rules for the early college program is that if you get kicked out of a class, you're out of the program. I was naive and everything that happened tumbled down and ruined my GPA and I'm still paying consequences. I knew I was failing out of the class, but for the longest time I didn't tell anyone. I would literally lay in my bed at night, heart pounding so fast because I knew one day everyone would find out and I would have to face up to the fact that I had failed, and not failed because I wasn't good enough, but failed because I didn't try. And that was worse.
Finally, judgement day came and my mother was livid, and rightfully so. I just remember her telling me I was throwing everything down the drain. And I remember being collapsed on the bathroom floor, sobbing my eyes out, unable to breathe and praying out loud for the Lord to take me up into His arms so I wouldn't have to face my own self. It was the cowards way out, but I truly wanted out, I didn't want to deal with my own shortcomings. I sat on the bathroom floor as my mother calmed down and told me everything was going to be okay, but I was going to have to face the music, which I didn't want to do.
But, everything did turn out alright, and I'm still growing and learning, but those past events didn't go away without leaving scars.
I have trouble sleeping now. I lay awake at night and my heart speeds just as it did, and I think and think and think again about the events of the day and try to remember if I did everything.
When Finals week comes up (much like it is now), I get sick. And not sick as in cold or flu symptoms, but more like I can't eat, I am frequently nauseous, and I may burst into tears randomly just because my body is so wracked with fear, I don't want to move. It comes on so suddenly that if I'm not in a place where I can be calm my whole countenance will change.
It happened today. I woke up so anxious I couldn't move.
There are many reasons why I want to talk about it and here they are:
- It's a common problem that gets swept under the rug
- When gone untreated, or rather, unnoticed it can have serious harmful consequences
- I myself have gone through anxiety attacks
There are many different types of Anxiety disorders and just because you're anxious doesn't mean you necessarily have a disorder, and just because you're not anxious all the time doesn't mean you don't. There are some you may know of, OCD, PTSD, Social Anxiety Disorder, etc. Typically, to be considered as possibly having an actual disorder, you're going to have physical symptoms because of your anxiety. But, without knowing how to cope with anxiety you could develop a disorder. These are medical things I've looked up about anxiety but I want to talk more about the practical, applicable affects of anxiety and possible ways to combat them.
When I was a young girl, I developed a bout of depression and eventually general anxiety. Mind you, I'm self-diagnosed, I looked up symptoms and causes and put the pieces together and came to the conclusion that I had a problem. Now at the time, when it first developed, I had no idea what was going on. I just knew that suddenly my emotions changed and my energy was gone. I think it could have to do with hormone imbalances, which I've just learned can be a cause and I am now looking into maybe treatments or something to change that. But I was just a teenager when these changes started, probably came with puberty which is a big testament to the hormone theory. And instead of realizing that something may really be wrong, I practically word-vomited all over my xanga thinking everyone wanted to hear about my problems. Yes, I'm embarrassed now and laugh at how silly I was, but at the time it was a serious issue. And even looking at it now I can see patterns of mild depression.
I've struggled with the whole idea of depression because, as a Christian, I have never come to a solid conclusion on whether or not depression is something diagnosable and treatable through medication, or whether it's unsettled sin issues and not trusting the Lord well enough. I think I'm coming to the conclusion that while a lot of depression can come from unrepentant sin, or some issue with God, there are certain biological things that can happen to give you a disposition for depression.
After having people tell me that I needed to resolve my sins with God and depression would go away, and then feeling like I failed after it would come back again, I started to doubt my sincerity in repentance which drove me deeper into depression. It was a tangled web.
Now, to let you know, I still have depressive bouts, and it's worse when I do have unresolved sin issues, but it's more than that. It's a physical change as well as emotional. Every once in a while my whole countenance changes and it's something that I've learned to ride out and make the best of. Instead of wallowing in pity I try and work around it.
The Lord has taught me that, in all things, choose joy. That doesn't mean I'm happy-go-lucky all the time, but I'm joyful. I'm joyful because I have a hope greater than what bogs my flesh-ridden body, and one day I'll be free of it all.
So to get to the main point: Anxiety.
A few years ago, I developed an anxiety disorder because of a few dumb decisions I made and instead of facing the problem head on I hid it, and lived with the guilt, which eventually developed the disorder.
I'll be honest with you and let you know what happened. I entered the early college program before I was ready. I made mistakes, didn't attend class and ended up failing out of a class. Now rules for the early college program is that if you get kicked out of a class, you're out of the program. I was naive and everything that happened tumbled down and ruined my GPA and I'm still paying consequences. I knew I was failing out of the class, but for the longest time I didn't tell anyone. I would literally lay in my bed at night, heart pounding so fast because I knew one day everyone would find out and I would have to face up to the fact that I had failed, and not failed because I wasn't good enough, but failed because I didn't try. And that was worse.
Finally, judgement day came and my mother was livid, and rightfully so. I just remember her telling me I was throwing everything down the drain. And I remember being collapsed on the bathroom floor, sobbing my eyes out, unable to breathe and praying out loud for the Lord to take me up into His arms so I wouldn't have to face my own self. It was the cowards way out, but I truly wanted out, I didn't want to deal with my own shortcomings. I sat on the bathroom floor as my mother calmed down and told me everything was going to be okay, but I was going to have to face the music, which I didn't want to do.
But, everything did turn out alright, and I'm still growing and learning, but those past events didn't go away without leaving scars.
I have trouble sleeping now. I lay awake at night and my heart speeds just as it did, and I think and think and think again about the events of the day and try to remember if I did everything.
When Finals week comes up (much like it is now), I get sick. And not sick as in cold or flu symptoms, but more like I can't eat, I am frequently nauseous, and I may burst into tears randomly just because my body is so wracked with fear, I don't want to move. It comes on so suddenly that if I'm not in a place where I can be calm my whole countenance will change.
It happened today. I woke up so anxious I couldn't move.
WHAT?! Is this happening?! {April Snapshots}
I am a horrible blogger and I am sorry to you who actually reads my blog.
Not only have I not written in so long but I also have been only posting my April Snapshots.... and I want to write some quality stuff that you guys may be interested in. But I have no time for life... sooooo it's hard.
But! There is a light at the end of the tunnel! Finals week is in a few weeks and I will have time to think and actually tackle the mountain of crafts I have waiting for me to indulge. Sooo Crafty blog posts soon? Hopefully! Yay! I have some things already lined up that I want to do so woohoo!
So.... here is what my life has looked like for the past week and few days. And briefly explained because I have a lot of days to talk about!
I think I left off with last friday!
Which was Good Friday!
April 6th was a fun, out of the ordinary day! I was given the day off, which was a blessing and was able to go spend time at the school I observe. I was able to help with the Easter egg hunt and the celebrations for the day. I loved it. I love those kids. And I got some Easter goodies, too. :)
It also was the one year "Birthday" For my sweet sweet friend Liquey. "Birthday" meaning she's been a Christian for one year! So we went out for sushi to celebrate! Haha my second night in a row for half off sushi. They have.... interesting decorations at that place haha
April 7th
Saturday we had a car wash to raise money for a well in Nigeria. After some confusions and frustrations (The fact that the place we did it at scheduled two car washes at the same time and we were short on people) we got together and did a good job and raised a good amount of money for the cause! I was so tired and afterwards I just wanted to collapse in a little ball and cry myself to sleep, but Morgan was in town so I went to see her and Mocha. He's one of the sweetest and constant men in my life.
I mean look at that face! How could you not instantly fall in love with him? He made me feel a little better and I hung out with him and Morgan out on the porch. My mind is kind of blank about the rest of the day, (since it's been so long, ahem).
April 8th!
Easter Sunday! It was a great day :). Went to church to celebrate the Risen King and that afternoon headed over to my cousins' parents house for Easter lunch. It's so great to be with my family. And it was such a relaxing afternoon that made me grateful for the relationships I have with my cousins. We had no Easter egg hunt :( But oh well!! The four of us, Cousins, Danno and myself decided to go watch the sunset that evening and squished into Danno's truck and headed to the beach. I'm so excited for the wedding in August and I love how my family is coming together. It makes me excited for the future and so grateful that my family is made up of my best friends.
April 9th!
Boooo Mondays. Mondays are hard days. I typically have such relaxing and great weekends that Mondays make me want to cry in the morning. And this weekend was particularly great so it was haaarddd!
But I find small ways to keep my sanity and recently I've been getting back into video games, particularly Kingdom Hearts, and I've been playing through the series when I have some time to play. I've forgotten how I love video games and how I love Kingdom Hearts, and it's nice to have a pastime, though I have to be careful not to commit too much time.
April 10th!
Tuesday, not as bad as Mondays, but not as great as Wednesdays. They're okay, I work in the afternoons and my nights are free, but it's still the beginning of the week and I usually feel like I'm still trying to wake up!
But this Tuesday evening I went out to celebrate with a friend who passed her nursing exams! I went to a fairly new restaurant that I hadn't been to and got a yummy dessert.
They call it a pizookie, and it's like the dessert I got while at Lou's in Chicago. Basically it's cookie dough baked in a small, pizza-like pan, not totally cooked so it's kind of doughie, and while it's still hot they dump some ice cream on it and serve it to you. It was good, not as good as Lou's, but good :). And I was happy to celebrate with my friend as she has this burden lifted off of her shoulder. She's a hard worker and deserves it. I can't wait until I'm finally done with my schooling, which seems like it may never happen!
April 11th!
Along with playing Kingdom Hearts again I've been listening to music that I used to listen to a long time ago. Just something about the music in that game. I love it! Pandora helps a lot because some of the music I forgot about floats on by again and I'm finding myself thinking "Oh yeah, I forgot about this song, I used to love this song!"
My music tastes varies from time to time and it's fun to revisit old tastes soemtimes. Some old music taste shouldn't be revisted thought. Haha yikes!
April 12th!
Was Thursday. I remember it being a hectic day. I did a group report on Scientology which was fun because scientology is a little nutso! The day was somewhat uneventful except I've been listening to some new music and it's really good! I love Noisetrade.com so much! It's legitimate free music and it's good music too! My current favorite it The Vespers. They're a folky sounding band and they're songs seem to be Christian based, I haven't researched them too much but I know they sing about Jesus and that's a-okay with me!
April 13th!
Fridayyyy! The day I workkkk all day. But that's okay because it signifies that it is once again the weekend and that evening I usually go out with my parents and they pay for my dinner (as a college student, this is always a plus! If your parents want to pay for you take advantage!). It won't last forever! Haha
Well when we went out to dinner we ended up seeing some of the Kowalski clan which was a surprise! Steve had just come down from Alaska where he's been for like the past half years or something like that so it was good to see him! I've known this family for what feel like forever! We used to go to church and co-ops and stuff together. Being two homeschooling families we saw each other often. Now we hardly ever see them, and it's nice to catch up. Steve has become a mountain man with all his facial hair, haha. But it was great to hear about what he's doing up there and how differently life is. It get's SO cold! Ah!
April 14th!
Beautiful Saturday with nothing to do! I love days when I have nothing to do because it's a time to breathe. Now, understand I love being busy and having things to do, but, that just means that I enjoy the do-nothing days all the more, I see them as precious. So this day I decided I wanted to spend some sweet time with my cousin and we headed for the beach.
Little did we know it was Earth weekend and EVERYONE was at the beach! Haha. See that picture?! That parking lot is NEVER full. That's all the way at the end of the island, but still, it was packed! Blahhh!
We found a remote spot, though, and enjoyed the sunshine and each other's company. We usually have great conversations because even though we're different we are understanding of each other and challenge each other to think differently sometimes. I'm burnt as a crisp now, and my skin is asking "Why did you not put on sunscreen?!" But the time was beneficial to me and it was a relaxing afternoon.
April 15th!
Sunday, one of my most peaceful days. Church was great and the message was abotu how for Paul, Christ and His Cross was his obsession and what he boasted in. Such a good message and such a reminder to put your priorities in line. Then Crossroads was great, we're still going over Colossians and it's been a really great study to be apart of.
After church I went to Kasey's bridal shower. Kasey is someone I've known since we were five, we grew up on the same street. While it was great to be there for her, I couldn't help but thinking how weird it was. See those ladies up there (Kasey in the middle), I've known each of them since we were kids. The girl on the left, I met through Kasey, they went to elementary school together, and the girl on the right I met through Kasey because she lived in the same neighborhood, around the corner from our street. And now we're all adults and growing up and having kids and getting married and it all just seems so surreal to me. She gets married May 19th and I can't wait to be there to celebrate with her!
April 16th!
Yayyy! That was yesterday! And a Monday, ughhh. But it was okay. I went to classes, did what needed to be done and went on a Brother-Sister date with Drew. It was kind of a slow day and I took a nap but it's just one day closer to being done with this semester. It was nice to have some one-on-one time with Drew, we're both super busy and don't have a lot of time to catch up, but it's needed because he's super important to me and I want us to make time to stay connected. I'm so thankful for the brother God has made him to me and I don't know how I would have handled some situations in my life if he hadn't have been there.
It's fun to look back on our lives and to talk about old times and people we used to know and to wonder where they are now. It's kind of cool to have someone who went through some of the same things Since we both graduated from the same class, had the same friends and saw the same things, it's cool to see how we've both grown. I think maybe that's a small reason why I trust him over some other people, because he knows who I am and I know who he is. We've kind of gotten over that stupid "I'm not going to be myself because you may not like who I really am" phase. And we can call each other out on our crap. He's been encouraging me to stand up for myself more, and I appreciate him for that. We also call each other out for not always showing up for first service at church. Because, Lord knows, we both need more discipline with that, haha.
So that was my past week and a few days! WHEW, that was a lot to remember and talk about. Today isn't over so I'm not going to post about it yet, we'll see how it goes ;)
So, reader, do you ever find yourself so overwhelmed with life, you just want to sleep all the time?
Why not learn to enjoy craziness?
Promise to write soon.
Love Always,
Christina
Not only have I not written in so long but I also have been only posting my April Snapshots.... and I want to write some quality stuff that you guys may be interested in. But I have no time for life... sooooo it's hard.
But! There is a light at the end of the tunnel! Finals week is in a few weeks and I will have time to think and actually tackle the mountain of crafts I have waiting for me to indulge. Sooo Crafty blog posts soon? Hopefully! Yay! I have some things already lined up that I want to do so woohoo!
So.... here is what my life has looked like for the past week and few days. And briefly explained because I have a lot of days to talk about!
I think I left off with last friday!
Which was Good Friday!
It also was the one year "Birthday" For my sweet sweet friend Liquey. "Birthday" meaning she's been a Christian for one year! So we went out for sushi to celebrate! Haha my second night in a row for half off sushi. They have.... interesting decorations at that place haha
April 7th
I mean look at that face! How could you not instantly fall in love with him? He made me feel a little better and I hung out with him and Morgan out on the porch. My mind is kind of blank about the rest of the day, (since it's been so long, ahem).
Easter Sunday! It was a great day :). Went to church to celebrate the Risen King and that afternoon headed over to my cousins' parents house for Easter lunch. It's so great to be with my family. And it was such a relaxing afternoon that made me grateful for the relationships I have with my cousins. We had no Easter egg hunt :( But oh well!! The four of us, Cousins, Danno and myself decided to go watch the sunset that evening and squished into Danno's truck and headed to the beach. I'm so excited for the wedding in August and I love how my family is coming together. It makes me excited for the future and so grateful that my family is made up of my best friends.
April 9th!
Boooo Mondays. Mondays are hard days. I typically have such relaxing and great weekends that Mondays make me want to cry in the morning. And this weekend was particularly great so it was haaarddd!
But I find small ways to keep my sanity and recently I've been getting back into video games, particularly Kingdom Hearts, and I've been playing through the series when I have some time to play. I've forgotten how I love video games and how I love Kingdom Hearts, and it's nice to have a pastime, though I have to be careful not to commit too much time.
April 10th!
But this Tuesday evening I went out to celebrate with a friend who passed her nursing exams! I went to a fairly new restaurant that I hadn't been to and got a yummy dessert.
They call it a pizookie, and it's like the dessert I got while at Lou's in Chicago. Basically it's cookie dough baked in a small, pizza-like pan, not totally cooked so it's kind of doughie, and while it's still hot they dump some ice cream on it and serve it to you. It was good, not as good as Lou's, but good :). And I was happy to celebrate with my friend as she has this burden lifted off of her shoulder. She's a hard worker and deserves it. I can't wait until I'm finally done with my schooling, which seems like it may never happen!
April 11th!
Along with playing Kingdom Hearts again I've been listening to music that I used to listen to a long time ago. Just something about the music in that game. I love it! Pandora helps a lot because some of the music I forgot about floats on by again and I'm finding myself thinking "Oh yeah, I forgot about this song, I used to love this song!"
My music tastes varies from time to time and it's fun to revisit old tastes soemtimes. Some old music taste shouldn't be revisted thought. Haha yikes!
April 12th!
April 13th!
Fridayyyy! The day I workkkk all day. But that's okay because it signifies that it is once again the weekend and that evening I usually go out with my parents and they pay for my dinner (as a college student, this is always a plus! If your parents want to pay for you take advantage!). It won't last forever! Haha
April 14th!
Little did we know it was Earth weekend and EVERYONE was at the beach! Haha. See that picture?! That parking lot is NEVER full. That's all the way at the end of the island, but still, it was packed! Blahhh!
We found a remote spot, though, and enjoyed the sunshine and each other's company. We usually have great conversations because even though we're different we are understanding of each other and challenge each other to think differently sometimes. I'm burnt as a crisp now, and my skin is asking "Why did you not put on sunscreen?!" But the time was beneficial to me and it was a relaxing afternoon.
April 15th!
Sunday, one of my most peaceful days. Church was great and the message was abotu how for Paul, Christ and His Cross was his obsession and what he boasted in. Such a good message and such a reminder to put your priorities in line. Then Crossroads was great, we're still going over Colossians and it's been a really great study to be apart of.
Yayyy! That was yesterday! And a Monday, ughhh. But it was okay. I went to classes, did what needed to be done and went on a Brother-Sister date with Drew. It was kind of a slow day and I took a nap but it's just one day closer to being done with this semester. It was nice to have some one-on-one time with Drew, we're both super busy and don't have a lot of time to catch up, but it's needed because he's super important to me and I want us to make time to stay connected. I'm so thankful for the brother God has made him to me and I don't know how I would have handled some situations in my life if he hadn't have been there.
It's fun to look back on our lives and to talk about old times and people we used to know and to wonder where they are now. It's kind of cool to have someone who went through some of the same things Since we both graduated from the same class, had the same friends and saw the same things, it's cool to see how we've both grown. I think maybe that's a small reason why I trust him over some other people, because he knows who I am and I know who he is. We've kind of gotten over that stupid "I'm not going to be myself because you may not like who I really am" phase. And we can call each other out on our crap. He's been encouraging me to stand up for myself more, and I appreciate him for that. We also call each other out for not always showing up for first service at church. Because, Lord knows, we both need more discipline with that, haha.
So that was my past week and a few days! WHEW, that was a lot to remember and talk about. Today isn't over so I'm not going to post about it yet, we'll see how it goes ;)
So, reader, do you ever find yourself so overwhelmed with life, you just want to sleep all the time?
Why not learn to enjoy craziness?
Promise to write soon.
Love Always,
Christina
Friday, April 6, 2012
Josh Garrels and late night sushi {April snapshots}
April 5th, was a day that started out great, turned into something frustrating, but picked itself back up again towards the end.
School was school, but a little more frustrating than usual. I'm just looking forward to the end of this semester. I'll be in my major program and two years away from having a career that I want.
I listened to Josh Garrels most of the day, though, so it was all okay. Seriously some good stuff. His album Love & War & The Sea in Between is free on Noisetrade.com so go get it! You won't regret it trust me.
Anyway after that I headed over to my friend's house to make dinner. We made fiesta chicken, even with all the mishaps we had, it turned out super yummy. Then some of the ladies from a Bible study I've been in came over and we all had dinner and planned to start studying Desiring God in a couple weeks. I'm super excited, it's a really good book!
I had a youth staff meeting after that and it was a really good meeting and we talked about summer camp and plans for the next few months. I'm so excited for summer camp, I LOVE summer camp! It's gonna be so great! And it was good to come together as a staff and just talk about things and support each other.
At this point I started listening to a little Woe is Me, they have some good stuff on the completely opposite spectrum of music compared to Josh Garrels though. So be forewarned, I have a wide range of interests when it comes to music, so just because you like some of my taste, doesn't mean you're going to like all of it.
Later that night I met up with some of my fam (Shann and Danno) and got half price sushi! So good! I haven't had sushi in a long time and I forgot how much I loved it. And it was half price! Such a good deal!
So overall, the Lord gave me reasons to smile, even if it was a stressful day.
What is some music you're listening to, reader?
Love Always,
Christina
School was school, but a little more frustrating than usual. I'm just looking forward to the end of this semester. I'll be in my major program and two years away from having a career that I want.
I listened to Josh Garrels most of the day, though, so it was all okay. Seriously some good stuff. His album Love & War & The Sea in Between is free on Noisetrade.com so go get it! You won't regret it trust me.
Anyway after that I headed over to my friend's house to make dinner. We made fiesta chicken, even with all the mishaps we had, it turned out super yummy. Then some of the ladies from a Bible study I've been in came over and we all had dinner and planned to start studying Desiring God in a couple weeks. I'm super excited, it's a really good book!
I had a youth staff meeting after that and it was a really good meeting and we talked about summer camp and plans for the next few months. I'm so excited for summer camp, I LOVE summer camp! It's gonna be so great! And it was good to come together as a staff and just talk about things and support each other.
At this point I started listening to a little Woe is Me, they have some good stuff on the completely opposite spectrum of music compared to Josh Garrels though. So be forewarned, I have a wide range of interests when it comes to music, so just because you like some of my taste, doesn't mean you're going to like all of it.
Later that night I met up with some of my fam (Shann and Danno) and got half price sushi! So good! I haven't had sushi in a long time and I forgot how much I loved it. And it was half price! Such a good deal!
So overall, the Lord gave me reasons to smile, even if it was a stressful day.
What is some music you're listening to, reader?
Love Always,
Christina
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Good hair, ducks and books {April Snapshots}
April 4th!
Today has been a good day.
See, some people don't understand what I mean when I say I love spending my day with kids. Like seriously.
I think kids are the coolest.
Anybody who thinks the word "Pootie pa-tootie" is hilarious and laughs as if its the first time they've heard it every time it's said is cool in my book.
And whoever looks at me and says "You have a zipper on your shirt...... APRIL FOOLS." Is cool. It's so funny because he turns to his friend and says "I told her she had a zipper, I April Foolsed her so bad. I got her." I wasn't even mad.
Later that day, same kid who April Foolsed me was telling me about some books in the library. When he told me that his friend was still looking for books and I was about to respond with "Hmmm, well we gotta get going soon..." He screamed "JINX" And congratulated himself for getting me good, I took it because he was just too awesome to say no to.
Oh, I did observation hours at the elementary school today.
I have to do some for my class, but I love it anyway and I'll probably keep doing it afterwards too. I'm in a first grade classroom. I seriously wish I could show you pictures of these guys because they're some of my favorite people to be with. From the hug hello to the hug goodbye I love every minute with them and can't wait until I'm a teacher and can do this everyday! How cool! But I want to protect them and just don't feel comfortable posting pictures of them. So they'll remain faceless. They're all adorable though, just so you know.
So along with the observation I try and help the teacher any way I can and any way she wants me to. So today she had a list of things and this included putting together ducks they had colored before. This entailed me gluing pipe cleaners to the ducks to make little umbrellas, the umbrella part made of wall paper cuttings. You can see a picture of one of them, top right. I get to do crafts for a job! What!
We ended the day with a trip to the library for them to check out new books and hear a story from Mrs. T. It was so much fun and I opted to stay there with them.
I've decided another thing I want to do in the future is own a children's books store. There's a long lilst of big things I want to do in the future. Maybe one day I'll list them and post them on here. Sound good?
So after a fun afternoon I went to my youth group and spent time with some more of my favorite people.
Seriously, the Lord has blessed me with being able to live and work with things and people that I just enjoy. I love people, I love kids. I love children. I can't explain it, I just l.o.v.e. kids.
He is so good to me.
What are some things you love, reader?
Love Always,
Christina
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Better late than never! {April snapshots}
I had told myself:
Christina, you're going to take a picture a day for the month of April and you're going to post them.
Then today I said to myself:
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!
But then I chilled out. Forgave myself and decided to post the past few days pictures, because luckily, I've (almost) taken a picture everyday so far.
Unfortunately I missed yesterday so you'll be getting a picture from March 30th instead! Woo!
March 30th, I don't remember well. I think I remember having the day off, because it was Saturday and I was supposed to get together with Shannon but she wasn't feeling well so the day was mine! I didn't do anything...
Well I did clean my room (sort of) and decided I needed to organize my books and look the truth in the face as to exactly how many books I owned and how many of those books were actually read.
It was daunting to look at the piles, the left is the books I have read and the right is the books I haven't.
Final Count: 192
Books read: 94
Books not read: 98
WHAT?! How does someone get to these numbers? I made myself promise myself: "Christina, you will not be getting anymore books until you have read the ones you have! You have books to read, you don't need anymore right now."
So of course I didn't grab four more books out of SPC's free book bin and then curse myself while putting them in my car realizing that within a couple of days I had broken a promise to myself. Of course I didn't.
I have some really good books too. Maybe one day I'll take to the task of cataloging them all.
And of course shortly after all of this I found more piles under my couch and in my closet. I was too overwhelmed to even thinking about counting them, maybe some other day I will. In the words of one of my favorite heroine "I can't think of that right now. If I do, I'll go crazy! I'll think about that tomorrow." Points to anyone who knows that reference and knows that is from my favorite movie. Which, just so happens to also be a book in my haven't read pile. It's such a big book.... I'm kind of scared when I look at it.
April 1st was a happy day. I went to church, sang and prayed and listened to the Word and my Spirit was refreshed. Then I got a chance to hang out with Shannon! I always love hanging out with her. I headed over to her house because she still wasn't feeling 100 and when she opened the door she was holding a bouquet of flowers and a poster that said "Will you be my bridesmaid?" I couldn't help but beam and nod frantically. "Yes yes! Of courssseee!" I think that's what I said. She warned that I better not cry and I made a flimsy promise not to and then she said "I have chocolate in the freezer" and I said "Yay".
We get each other.
We sat and talked and caught up on life and laughed. Danno showed up a little later and I discovered that one of my favorite moments of life is when I'm sitting with them watching a movie or funny youtube videos. I'm super happy Danny will be apart of my family soon, (like he wasn't already, psh), because 1.) I trust my cousins heart with him. 2.) I just like him being around. The flowers are in my room and my room smells so great and I smile before falling asleep every night because I have this thought "Oh, it smells so lovely in here, it must be a passing scent that'll go away" But then I realize it's coming from the bouquet on the desk next to me an that it will be a comforting fragrance through the night. And it's lovely.
Missed the 2nd, oops!
April 3rd,Today I wasn't feeling well. It was a slow day and a work day so I was in need of a good coffee and study time by the end of it. It was about this time that I got a text from Liquey asking if I wanted a study sesh at sbucks. I literally was saying "Yes, yes, yes!" in my car and asking God how she knew and thanking Him for putting that thought in her head. I went home, had a quick dinner and headed over. We started out not so much studying and then promised each other to buckle down. In between groans of "I hatttteee biology. Half of this stuff I don't even believe in." and "But what does this even meaaaannn?!?!", Most of the groaning coming from yours truly, ahem ahem, we shared beneficial and edifying conversation about the Lord and His Truth. And how He is Truth. And I'm watching her right now type away like the little Biblical scholar she is as she writes a paper for her philosophy class. To see her light up at the Truth of God and how she could write a paper about Him is such a blessing for the Lord to have allowed me to be apart of and I am thankful to be here right now. I actually studied, too. I'm amazed with myself.
Oh and she got special treatment just because she's here ALL THE TIME. and got a special chocolate thing with whipped cream all over it.
But yeah, she's cool with me, so I hope she's cool with you!
So those are the beginning days of April. How lovely and how promising.
Jesus you are so good.
What does your life look like, reader?
Love Always,
Christina
Christina, you're going to take a picture a day for the month of April and you're going to post them.
Then today I said to myself:
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!
But then I chilled out. Forgave myself and decided to post the past few days pictures, because luckily, I've (almost) taken a picture everyday so far.
Unfortunately I missed yesterday so you'll be getting a picture from March 30th instead! Woo!
Well I did clean my room (sort of) and decided I needed to organize my books and look the truth in the face as to exactly how many books I owned and how many of those books were actually read.
It was daunting to look at the piles, the left is the books I have read and the right is the books I haven't.
Final Count: 192
Books read: 94
Books not read: 98
WHAT?! How does someone get to these numbers? I made myself promise myself: "Christina, you will not be getting anymore books until you have read the ones you have! You have books to read, you don't need anymore right now."
So of course I didn't grab four more books out of SPC's free book bin and then curse myself while putting them in my car realizing that within a couple of days I had broken a promise to myself. Of course I didn't.
I have some really good books too. Maybe one day I'll take to the task of cataloging them all.
And of course shortly after all of this I found more piles under my couch and in my closet. I was too overwhelmed to even thinking about counting them, maybe some other day I will. In the words of one of my favorite heroine "I can't think of that right now. If I do, I'll go crazy! I'll think about that tomorrow." Points to anyone who knows that reference and knows that is from my favorite movie. Which, just so happens to also be a book in my haven't read pile. It's such a big book.... I'm kind of scared when I look at it.
We get each other.
We sat and talked and caught up on life and laughed. Danno showed up a little later and I discovered that one of my favorite moments of life is when I'm sitting with them watching a movie or funny youtube videos. I'm super happy Danny will be apart of my family soon, (like he wasn't already, psh), because 1.) I trust my cousins heart with him. 2.) I just like him being around. The flowers are in my room and my room smells so great and I smile before falling asleep every night because I have this thought "Oh, it smells so lovely in here, it must be a passing scent that'll go away" But then I realize it's coming from the bouquet on the desk next to me an that it will be a comforting fragrance through the night. And it's lovely.
Missed the 2nd, oops!
April 3rd,Today I wasn't feeling well. It was a slow day and a work day so I was in need of a good coffee and study time by the end of it. It was about this time that I got a text from Liquey asking if I wanted a study sesh at sbucks. I literally was saying "Yes, yes, yes!" in my car and asking God how she knew and thanking Him for putting that thought in her head. I went home, had a quick dinner and headed over. We started out not so much studying and then promised each other to buckle down. In between groans of "I hatttteee biology. Half of this stuff I don't even believe in." and "But what does this even meaaaannn?!?!", Most of the groaning coming from yours truly, ahem ahem, we shared beneficial and edifying conversation about the Lord and His Truth. And how He is Truth. And I'm watching her right now type away like the little Biblical scholar she is as she writes a paper for her philosophy class. To see her light up at the Truth of God and how she could write a paper about Him is such a blessing for the Lord to have allowed me to be apart of and I am thankful to be here right now. I actually studied, too. I'm amazed with myself.
But yeah, she's cool with me, so I hope she's cool with you!
So those are the beginning days of April. How lovely and how promising.
Jesus you are so good.
What does your life look like, reader?
Love Always,
Christina
Monday, April 2, 2012
The beauty in Seasons
The Lord has been teaching me a lot about the beauty of Seasons.
I'm not just talking about the seasons of Spring to Summer, Summer to Fall, Fall to Winter and back again, but the seasons of life.
It started a little while ago when a big lesson I was learning was "Some friends are for forever, while some are just for seasons."
I didn't always understand what that meant, but the Lord brought many people into my life that said the same thing. I kept thinking, but how can you really be friends if they eventually left? Going to my younger ages, friends meant friends for life. I'll go to your wedding, and you're going to mine. We'll sit in rocking chairs and wheelchairs when we're old enough but we will always be the same, we will always be close. Of course is was naivety that blinded me as a child, and then eventually stubborn pride that I wouldn't admit that the friends you have as a young kid, probably aren't going to be there forever. Even as friendships faded away I always thought "Well they weren't real friends anyway." Or I kept up a once in a while "How are you?" conversation and I told myself that was enough.
But then a friendship that I thought was a great one ended abruptly and it made me start to really think about the "Friends for a season" idea. Even though it was hard and still sometimes I don't understand what happens, there was a friendship. Well, at least I think so. I try not to think too hard about it because when I do ugly feelings and resentment bubbles up and that's something I have to fight every day. Like my good friend K-Grizzle has reminded me, "Forgiveness is an everyday decision. You're not going to wake up one day and not think about forgiving that person. It's not a one time magical decision that makes life easier. It's an everyday conscious decision of 'I'm going to forgive them today, just as God has forgiven me.'" And ooohhhh boy, is it an everyday thing. Forgiving someone doesn't mean you're all the sudden magically going to be like "I feel great about what happened", but it does mean that you no longer hold that person responsible for whatever they've done. To them you will treat them with love and respect and hold no grudge. And that it what I'm trying to do. Forgiveness reveals a lot about yourself, and I think the Lord makes forgiveness hard on purpose. To show us just how loving He is to have forgiven us for all we've done. We do things against him on a daily basis! Forgiving.....daily.
Anyway long story to come to this conclusion:
Just because we're not friends now, does that mean we weren't ever friends?
No!
Friendship, whether it lasts forever or not, is something real. It's a give and take of support and compassion and enjoying one another's company, through good and bad times. Your lives may end up heading in different directions and eventually pulling you apart, but does that mean your friendship isn't worth anything just because it's not what it used to be? I'm coming to the conclusion of no! That's not what it means at all!
So with the ending and coming of friendships I've begun to enjoy my Seasons for what they are. Times of growth, or times of weakness, the Lord has something to teach in all. To be honest, I have just been coming out of a very dark season, a season of questioning all of my beliefs and thoughts and friendships, but through it all the Lord has been my one and only Rock. I have searched far and wide to find answers but He always brought me back to Himself until I finally realized that He is my only resting place and in Him is where I find the answers I seek. Looking the people He is bringing into my life right now is so exciting. I am meeting people so filled with His love and it is so encouraging and refreshing that I thank Him for what He has done. Times were hard but it has brought me to a time where I realize what I should look for in life, and it is always Him. He's given me a heart to actually get to know people. Before it used to be a selfish desire to have people know me and to support me, but He is growing a deep desire to get to know others, to be there for them.
Looking back on old relationships, I know I have something in each of them that I cherish, whether the ended badly or not.
Also, I am so grateful for the forever friends He has given me. They have always been there for me and I hope they can say the same about myself. I couldn't have made it through half of what happened without them. And I'm constantly reminded of the Lord's love for me through their love.
So this all being said. Look forward to your seasons. Learn that friendships will come and go, but God is always there through it. And learn that, even though change may be scary, God has a lesson in all of it.
I'm grateful for you.
Love Always,
Christina
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Modern-day Paul
Sometimes I like to think about what Paul would do if he lived in our generation and our century. How vast our communication circuit is! Just imagine if Paul would have been able to send an email to the Corinthians and that very same day they would have been able to receive the sweet Truth and to spread it like wildfire!
Would they have been so eager to receive it?
I think of my brothers and sister in Honduras and El Salvador. Very few times are they allowed on the internet to receive emails and communications, but it is still something they have access to. They are encouraged and grateful for correspondence from brothers and sisters.
Good news is good news, whether it comes from pen and paper or as a sweet email.
Or a podcast!
John Piper's website Desiring God is full of wisdom and knowledge coming from the Good Book and is used by millions for study of the Word.
We have the Bible everywhere!
On our phones, on our computers, on the television. How great it is for us, my generation!
But what are you doing with these gifts?
Dear Friends, I write to you in exhortation and in guilt. I, myself, am guilty of not using the gifts we have been given to their full extent. Even while I sit here on facebook, youtube, reading email, I fool myself into saying "I don't have time for devotions today", "I don't have time for a study". Really? Really? How much time do I have for facebook? For Tumblr? For watching a movie?
Would Paul be appalled with the ratio of time of uselessness to time well spent?
How would Paul use the internet?
Just a short thought.
Love Always,
Christina
Would they have been so eager to receive it?
I think of my brothers and sister in Honduras and El Salvador. Very few times are they allowed on the internet to receive emails and communications, but it is still something they have access to. They are encouraged and grateful for correspondence from brothers and sisters.
Good news is good news, whether it comes from pen and paper or as a sweet email.
Or a podcast!
John Piper's website Desiring God is full of wisdom and knowledge coming from the Good Book and is used by millions for study of the Word.
We have the Bible everywhere!
On our phones, on our computers, on the television. How great it is for us, my generation!
But what are you doing with these gifts?
Dear Friends, I write to you in exhortation and in guilt. I, myself, am guilty of not using the gifts we have been given to their full extent. Even while I sit here on facebook, youtube, reading email, I fool myself into saying "I don't have time for devotions today", "I don't have time for a study". Really? Really? How much time do I have for facebook? For Tumblr? For watching a movie?
Would Paul be appalled with the ratio of time of uselessness to time well spent?
How would Paul use the internet?
Just a short thought.
Love Always,
Christina
Monday, March 26, 2012
Let me tell you bout my best friends (BONUS POST)
Haha like I'm popular enough to announce bonus posts.But for real. I've been reflecting on how blessed I am and had to write about it!
See those ladies over there? Yeah I'm over there but ignore me. I really do like that shirt, though.
But anyway those cool ladies.
So, let me tell you about how blessed I am and how much the Lord must love me for all He's given me.
Those two are my cousins and best friends. That's right, cousins AND best friends. I'm sure I've mentioned this before. But a short time ago the Lord was gracious enough to have chosen to begin changing and sanctifying their lives as they became apart of my heavenly family as well. How many times I had prayed to God for Godly sisters to fellowship with me, and how many times I prayed for these two's salvation. I never knew He would answer both at the same time.
After initial growth they both seemed to just EXPLODE with desire and passion for the Lord and it's been so amazing and so encouraging to watch them become such beautiful women inside and out.
Cousin 1 (Left) has always been such a star in my eyes. Haha, I thought she was seriously the coolest while growing up. She's a couple years older than me, so of course, a couple of years ahead of my game. I tried to be like her, she was sarcastic and funny and had older high school friends. She would let me hang out with her and I thought I must be pretty darn cool for her to like me. I picked on Cousin 2 because that's what she did, I mean she was a full year minus two weeks younger than me, so lame ;). I watched as she struggled through being a teenager and different trials and that's when I truly began to love her for her. Before I just thought she was cool and wanted her to think I was cool, but when I got closer I saw the real her, (not that she still wasn't cool, it was just a different cool), and loved her even more for it. The way she thinks often gets me to think about things, and I love when she writes. I wish she would write more so I could know her thoughts. I think no matter how old we get she'll still be the coolest in my mind.
Cousin 2 (Middle) was born two weeks before my first birthday. We really didn't get along until teenage years. Even then we weren't the closest, but at family gatherings we could hang out and get along. She would always force me to be Ken, Aladdin, The Evil One when we played Barbies. She never let me play with the princess Barbies!!!! (Still bitter). Haha just kidding. Kind of. But, we slowly became closer and as she grew closer to the Lord the Lord revealed to me just who He was crafting within her, not only a beautiful woman, but my best friend. She knows pretty much everything about me, and I believe I the same for her. She's the person I go to for advice, she sees things differently than I do, and it's beautiful to me. We don't always agree, but we don't need to, we love each other enough to respect each other. She's talked me through sin issues, heart break, and triumphs. We laugh every time we're together and I enjoy just listening about her day and telling her about mine. I don't know where I'd be without her.
They are such an important back of my support system, I would be a mess without them!
I'm so lucky
Filled with so much love,
Christina
The Importance of Being Honest
Okay so warning and disclaimer about this post, it may come off as a rant of sorts, and maybe it is. But My frustrated mind is trying to resolve it's ideas and the best way I do this is to write. Words and ideas enter into my mind and wont leave until I put them down onto paper or clumsily speak them. I'm not so good at the impromptu speaking part, the words bounce around in my mind so much that they come out in unintelligent phrases when expressed orally. It's just a mess, if you've ever had the misfortune of having a serious conversation with me, I'm sorry because I probably sounded like I had no idea what I was talking about. I am knowledgeable of things! I just don't know how to tell you that.
AH I've already started a rant that has nothing to do with the subject I wanted to rant about!
(There I admitted it, this is a rant)
Okay so, something that I have been encountering, (is that the correct phrasing of that? Whatever it's how I want it to be), is an overwhelming fakeness practically dripping from people. You know what I'm talking about, you've met one of those people that no matter how bright the smile, or loud the laugh, there's a sound that comes after it, subtle, but encroaching enough that something in the back of your mind goes.... hmmmm. It's more than that, it's a small almost inaudible sigh with a shifting of the eyes as if searching the room to find acceptance in some corner, but they're not going to find it, because they're not being themself, therefore not accepting the person they're portraying.
Okay, caveat, (don't know what that means? Look it up, our generation has been blessed with modern technology and a virtually unlimited search engine, also known as Google. while you're there look up a vocabulary word you don't know. Don't be afraid to educate yourself. Education is attractive.) I want you to understand that the only reason I'm critical on this situation is because I used to be that person. And still today I struggle not to fall into that routine of hiding myself to try to please everyone, get attention, or be the cool person. And, this problem can typically be found within the high school aged assemblage (just looked that word up. Learning is fun!). This is where it hit me hardest and kept it's claws into me through the early college years, as well.
Back to original thought:
There are just those people that no matter how hard they try to fake it they come off as very insincere. And that is a turn off in general. And I don't mean boy-girl turn off, but a turn off in general.
The problem:
First off, what's so wrong with you?! Where does it say that you are such a horrible personality that no one will like it if they really get to know you?
God certainly doesn't think this way
Let's go back alllllll the way to the beginning.
Checklist, please!
So I feel like I have used this verse before but I don't feel like going and looking haha, so lazzzyyyy.
Let's not get things mixed up.
God has given us earthly relationships to cherish and enjoy, and brothers and sister's in Christ to help and to be the Church, and this is very very important. I'm not saying become a hermit and forsake all others, all I'm saying is that truly, essentially, if it came down to it the only love your soul and heart desperately NEEDS is Christ's. You heart may try and tell you that you desperately need so and so's love and affection, but be not deceived, dear heart!
I'd say this is a pretty good list so far.
So you, dear reader, if you do exist, with all your faults and quirks and not-so-funny jokes, (ahem), are a special person. Made beautifully in the image of a God who loves your quirks.
I've been learning that He even loves through sin. Now, He's not happy with sin, He hates sin, but if He has saved you with His unending grace, He no longer judges you based on that, and loves throughout.
So, my challenge to you is that when you feel like you should act a certain way because it's what everyone wants to see, think "God loves ME, He likes who I am, and so do I!".
Because He does love you, and for you reader, so do I.
You rule.
Love, (really) Always,
Christina
P.S.
An awesome resource, which I use for this blog is net.bible.org. And Phil Wickham music is pretty good too.
AH I've already started a rant that has nothing to do with the subject I wanted to rant about!
(There I admitted it, this is a rant)
Okay so, something that I have been encountering, (is that the correct phrasing of that? Whatever it's how I want it to be), is an overwhelming fakeness practically dripping from people. You know what I'm talking about, you've met one of those people that no matter how bright the smile, or loud the laugh, there's a sound that comes after it, subtle, but encroaching enough that something in the back of your mind goes.... hmmmm. It's more than that, it's a small almost inaudible sigh with a shifting of the eyes as if searching the room to find acceptance in some corner, but they're not going to find it, because they're not being themself, therefore not accepting the person they're portraying.
Okay, caveat, (don't know what that means? Look it up, our generation has been blessed with modern technology and a virtually unlimited search engine, also known as Google. while you're there look up a vocabulary word you don't know. Don't be afraid to educate yourself. Education is attractive.) I want you to understand that the only reason I'm critical on this situation is because I used to be that person. And still today I struggle not to fall into that routine of hiding myself to try to please everyone, get attention, or be the cool person. And, this problem can typically be found within the high school aged assemblage (just looked that word up. Learning is fun!). This is where it hit me hardest and kept it's claws into me through the early college years, as well.
Back to original thought:
There are just those people that no matter how hard they try to fake it they come off as very insincere. And that is a turn off in general. And I don't mean boy-girl turn off, but a turn off in general.
The problem:
First off, what's so wrong with you?! Where does it say that you are such a horrible personality that no one will like it if they really get to know you?
God certainly doesn't think this way
Let's go back alllllll the way to the beginning.
Okay let's start with the fact that God made you specifically. Every flaw, every strength, every strand of hair He made, and He made it in His likeness! Okay, how cool are you already?1:26 Then God said, “Let us make 47humankind 48 in our image, after our likeness, 49 so they may rule 50 over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the cattle, and over all the earth, 51 and over all the creatures that move 52 on the earth.”1:27 God created humankind 53 in his own image,in the image of God he created them, 54(Gen 1:26-27)
Checklist, please!
God made you personallyHaha okay that last one isn't a correct interpretation of the Scriptures ;P. But so far I'd say we're looking pretty darn good.
He made you in His image
And it even says it, He made you to rule! You rule!
So I feel like I have used this verse before but I don't feel like going and looking haha, so lazzzyyyy.
The Lord made your heart and mind! He thinks of you. Your days are ordained by Him! He knows you thoroughly and He loves you. HE.LOVES.YOU. Done, checklist complete. Whom else do you need to love you? Sure people here on earth seem pretty great, and you may feel like you need them to love you, but really.... do you really?you wove me together 21 in my mother’s womb.139:14 I will give you thanks because your deeds are awesome and amazing. 22You knew me thoroughly; 23139:15 my bones were not hidden from you,when 24 I was made in secretand sewed together in the depths of the earth. 25139:16 Your eyes saw me when I was inside the womb. 26All the days ordained for mewere recorded in your scrollbefore one of them came into existence. 27139:17 How difficult it is for me to fathom your thoughts about me, O God! 28139:18 If I tried to count them,they would outnumber the grains of sand.Even if I finished counting them,
Let's not get things mixed up.
God has given us earthly relationships to cherish and enjoy, and brothers and sister's in Christ to help and to be the Church, and this is very very important. I'm not saying become a hermit and forsake all others, all I'm saying is that truly, essentially, if it came down to it the only love your soul and heart desperately NEEDS is Christ's. You heart may try and tell you that you desperately need so and so's love and affection, but be not deceived, dear heart!
Jeremiah 17:9 The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?We have sick hearts, loves. And it is only Christ who can heal, but so often will listen to heart above Christ. Be careful that you don't let your heart tell you that you need something. Unless that something is Christ.
So let's look at our checklist, hmm?
God made you personally
He made you in His image
YOU RULE (Christina likes to make corny jokes and insist they're funnnnyyyy)
He has made your heart and mind, but be careful listening to that tricky heart
He thinks of you. YOU. Think of you, He does. (Eh? Reference? Anyone?)
He ordains your days! Don't know what that means?... Guess what.... LOOK IT UP! Wooo!
He knows you inside and out and He loves you. He loves you. He loves you. He loves you.
I'd say this is a pretty good list so far.
So you, dear reader, if you do exist, with all your faults and quirks and not-so-funny jokes, (ahem), are a special person. Made beautifully in the image of a God who loves your quirks.
I've been learning that He even loves through sin. Now, He's not happy with sin, He hates sin, but if He has saved you with His unending grace, He no longer judges you based on that, and loves throughout.
So, my challenge to you is that when you feel like you should act a certain way because it's what everyone wants to see, think "God loves ME, He likes who I am, and so do I!".
Because He does love you, and for you reader, so do I.
You rule.
Love, (really) Always,
Christina
P.S.
An awesome resource, which I use for this blog is net.bible.org. And Phil Wickham music is pretty good too.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Am I not understanding this now?
I don't know why I title my posts the way I do. They've been song inspired as of lately. I've been listening to a mix cd Andrew made me like non-stop. I woke up singing this morning haha.
I feel bad because I didn't post about my day yesterday. Bad!
Yesterday was another good day.
Woke up at 7:30, I had my first Bio exam that morning and I was nowhere near ready. I do that sometimes. Oops!
8:00 A.M.- Got to class! Totally (not-so) ready for the test! I'm not sure how I did. There were some questions I knew for sure.... some not so much. I'm just praying for a passing grade!
Got out about 8:30 and this was the uneventful part of my day. I was super tired so I went home and took a nap. Until about 11. My midday classes don't meet on Wednesdays so I have time to sleep! Or do other things, of course. Haha :)
2:00 P.M.- I have my Bio lab class.... it was interesting this day. There was an experiment with yeast and sugar and junk that was supposed to cause a balloon to inflate.... this is what ours looked like
Yeahhhhh nothing changed from that... so we watched another groups balloon successfully inflate and considered ourselves done. Haha we don't get graded on the labs, so it's okay.
At about 3 I was heading home and decided I was going to make dinner again tonight. And thus begins the adventure.
I went to Publix to grab all my items when I decided what I was going to be making.
The true Irish woman in me decided that Baked Potato Soup was going to be the expedition.
I love Publix, I just gotta say that. It has pretty much everything I'm looking for and the people are so nice. :)
I found this
For the real Scotsman
But seriously what is with that picture?
ANYWAY! Back to cooking
The recipe I used called for these ingredients:
I knew it was going to be a good recipe when it called for the vegetables to be sauteed in the bacon grease. But, to be honest I'm never sauteed vegetables before so I was a little nervous but they turned out so yummy! And the recipe called for hot sauce.... and I love spicy food so I was super excited about it. And guess what! It turned out to be delcious!
Crumble up the bacon, add a layer of cheddar cheese and throw in some oyster shells and it tasted so good :). I love baked potato soup. Seriously, don't refuse this woman her potatoes.
After dinner I headed over to Youth Group where I am a leader over the high school girls. The passage was Genesis 15:7-16. It was an awesome message about Abraham and Gods covenant with him. About trusting the Lord to be faithful. This weekend the high schoolers are going to Winter Camp! It should be a really great time, and of course I'll be posting about it.
And that was yesterday in a nutshell.
Love Always,
Christina
I feel bad because I didn't post about my day yesterday. Bad!
Yesterday was another good day.
Woke up at 7:30, I had my first Bio exam that morning and I was nowhere near ready. I do that sometimes. Oops!
8:00 A.M.- Got to class! Totally (not-so) ready for the test! I'm not sure how I did. There were some questions I knew for sure.... some not so much. I'm just praying for a passing grade!
Got out about 8:30 and this was the uneventful part of my day. I was super tired so I went home and took a nap. Until about 11. My midday classes don't meet on Wednesdays so I have time to sleep! Or do other things, of course. Haha :)
2:00 P.M.- I have my Bio lab class.... it was interesting this day. There was an experiment with yeast and sugar and junk that was supposed to cause a balloon to inflate.... this is what ours looked like
At about 3 I was heading home and decided I was going to make dinner again tonight. And thus begins the adventure.
I went to Publix to grab all my items when I decided what I was going to be making.
The true Irish woman in me decided that Baked Potato Soup was going to be the expedition.
I love Publix, I just gotta say that. It has pretty much everything I'm looking for and the people are so nice. :)
I found this
But seriously what is with that picture?
ANYWAY! Back to cooking
The recipe I used called for these ingredients:
I knew it was going to be a good recipe when it called for the vegetables to be sauteed in the bacon grease. But, to be honest I'm never sauteed vegetables before so I was a little nervous but they turned out so yummy! And the recipe called for hot sauce.... and I love spicy food so I was super excited about it. And guess what! It turned out to be delcious!
After dinner I headed over to Youth Group where I am a leader over the high school girls. The passage was Genesis 15:7-16. It was an awesome message about Abraham and Gods covenant with him. About trusting the Lord to be faithful. This weekend the high schoolers are going to Winter Camp! It should be a really great time, and of course I'll be posting about it.
And that was yesterday in a nutshell.
Love Always,
Christina
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
This is Loyalty, this is a Family
Today was a supposed-to-be-blah day that turned into a better-than-blah day.
It was actually a very enjoyable day.
8:30 A.M. - Woke up.... kind of
8:45 A.M - Really woke up and realized I was gonna be late for class.
9:10 A.M. - Stroll into class like nothing was wrong. I love this class, and the teacher. But honestly, we've been going over the same material since classes started so I simply work on homework in that class.
10:45 A.M. - Got myself some early lunch and parked myself outside the Cafe for what was supposed to be a short lunch before my next class. And then Becca joined me. I enjoy her company. We talked about bunches of stuff and I found myself declaring skipping my next class. Oops :). We had a fun time, though. Talked about music and I found out she likes hardcore music just as much as I do. By the time she started with "Oh I love We Came as Romans, too!" And ended with "I just love double bass" I knew we were supposed to be good friends.
Yeah, she's pretty cool.
12:20 P.M. - Went to see Mike Schadt and how the international luncheon was going. It was good to see everyone and plans for this summer look like they're beginning to form. Which, I could use you guys help on! But that'll be a subject for another post.
1:30 P.M. - Work.... which was work! I recently got my own desk and computer! It's nice to have a workspace of my own. For a while I was bouncing around from one desk to another and sometimes the table using a laptop. I wont be there on Friday because I'm going out of town for the weekend. Weeee!
5:00 P.M. - Out of work! Time to go deposit my check and vote!
Deposit check...... Check? Hah
Vote!..... a little harder to check.
First of all my voting center changed so I had to find this new address. Second of all the Address wasn't right! It was in the middle of a neighborhood! I was driving around like Derp Derp until finally I found the Polish center I needed to vote at.
Voting.... Check!
6:15 P.M. - Then I had some plans for that money from my paycheck... remember that project I told you about? Yeah I wanted to get started on it but then I cam home to a dinner-less house. My mom wasn't feeling well and my dad was complaining about being fed so I said FINE! I will go get stuff to make dinner.
I made fiesta chicken. Sissy 2* made it for me last week and I loved it so I decided it would be a good dinner for the fam. They agreed.
It was so yummy!
* Sissy 2 is what I'll call one of my cousins. I have two cousins that I'm very close with and Sissy 2 is the younger. the older we'll call Sissy 1. They're kind of like Thing 1 and Thing 2 so I thought it made sense. We're as close as me and my real Sissy are.
So today was a good day even if it didn't happen like I planned it to.
So here are some ideas for posts I would like to make in the near future.
I have some Valentines Day crafts that I'm going to be doing. Some of them I can't post too soon because they're going to be surprises for my loved ones.... but I'll try and post some of them. And I have some house projects I want to do so hopefully I'll find time to do it.
Oh and this weekend I'm going out of town so hopefully I'll have an update on that.
Here's to hoping I'll keep up with this!
Love Always,
Christina
It was actually a very enjoyable day.
8:30 A.M. - Woke up.... kind of
8:45 A.M - Really woke up and realized I was gonna be late for class.
9:10 A.M. - Stroll into class like nothing was wrong. I love this class, and the teacher. But honestly, we've been going over the same material since classes started so I simply work on homework in that class.
10:45 A.M. - Got myself some early lunch and parked myself outside the Cafe for what was supposed to be a short lunch before my next class. And then Becca joined me. I enjoy her company. We talked about bunches of stuff and I found myself declaring skipping my next class. Oops :). We had a fun time, though. Talked about music and I found out she likes hardcore music just as much as I do. By the time she started with "Oh I love We Came as Romans, too!" And ended with "I just love double bass" I knew we were supposed to be good friends.
12:20 P.M. - Went to see Mike Schadt and how the international luncheon was going. It was good to see everyone and plans for this summer look like they're beginning to form. Which, I could use you guys help on! But that'll be a subject for another post.
1:30 P.M. - Work.... which was work! I recently got my own desk and computer! It's nice to have a workspace of my own. For a while I was bouncing around from one desk to another and sometimes the table using a laptop. I wont be there on Friday because I'm going out of town for the weekend. Weeee!
5:00 P.M. - Out of work! Time to go deposit my check and vote!
Deposit check...... Check? Hah
Vote!..... a little harder to check.
First of all my voting center changed so I had to find this new address. Second of all the Address wasn't right! It was in the middle of a neighborhood! I was driving around like Derp Derp until finally I found the Polish center I needed to vote at.
Voting.... Check!
6:15 P.M. - Then I had some plans for that money from my paycheck... remember that project I told you about? Yeah I wanted to get started on it but then I cam home to a dinner-less house. My mom wasn't feeling well and my dad was complaining about being fed so I said FINE! I will go get stuff to make dinner.
I made fiesta chicken. Sissy 2* made it for me last week and I loved it so I decided it would be a good dinner for the fam. They agreed.
* Sissy 2 is what I'll call one of my cousins. I have two cousins that I'm very close with and Sissy 2 is the younger. the older we'll call Sissy 1. They're kind of like Thing 1 and Thing 2 so I thought it made sense. We're as close as me and my real Sissy are.
So today was a good day even if it didn't happen like I planned it to.
So here are some ideas for posts I would like to make in the near future.
I have some Valentines Day crafts that I'm going to be doing. Some of them I can't post too soon because they're going to be surprises for my loved ones.... but I'll try and post some of them. And I have some house projects I want to do so hopefully I'll find time to do it.
Oh and this weekend I'm going out of town so hopefully I'll have an update on that.
Here's to hoping I'll keep up with this!
Love Always,
Christina
Monday, January 30, 2012
Letting the minutes pass by!
So this weekend the Lord was pressing on me the importance of letting time pass you by. You can be busy, every day filled with things to do, places to be, people to see and still be missing out on life!
It's a place I've found myself.
I wrote down my schedule and everyday is filled with things to do. School, Work, Bible Studies and Church activities. All good right? Well sure, except for the fact that I feel like I'm not the actually the one living out that schedule.
I seem to rise out of bed only to fall back into it that night. So I heard some friends of mine saying they were going to record what they do each hour everyday. So I've decided to do the same
10 A.M. - Woke up, because I got to sleep in today! Yay! Showered, made lunch, and headed off to class.
11:10A.M.- Got to class a little late, it's okay they were just reviewing. Finished a worksheet, got a 60 { :( } on a quiz.
12:15 P.M. - Met up with some friends and ate lunch. Tried memorizing my new verses for this week... wrote them down a little so I guess it helped. Also I've been writing letters lately. Letters to people, especially people who are away from me. I remembered someone recently said to me that "You make time for the important people in your life" and I've taken it very seriously and I want to put more effort into people.
2:00 P.M. - Last class of the day! Earth Science Lab. I'm beginning to like this class a lot. We were learning about the spectrum of light and we got to draw and color today!
These glasses made everything look crazy and projectors look like magic stars and everyone was rainbows.
We also studied our solar system. And then made a scale model in the science building hallway.
Kye and I were responsible for Saturn. We did a pretty bang up job, if you ask me :)
The hallway was measured for 30 meters. Each meter equals 200,000,000 miles.... soooo you do the math :). That one right there is pluto and all the way down there is the sun and , if you can see her, Kye Kye, she's standing where earth is. It's crazy how big it is when you put it in that perspective!
And then there was some of this...
I had Starbucks and I started freaking out. He was lecturing so I had to sit still.... this is what happened.
So! Got home around 4 P.M. knitted and made some bracelets a bit. Around 6 ate dinner and then I've been spending some time on the computer.
I feel like today has gone so fast. But I really like reviewing my day because it makes me realize that I do a lot of stuff. And I shouldn't just let my mind forget it at the end of the day!
If anyone out there actually reads my blog I encourage you to do the same :)
Love Always,
Christina
P.S.
Be sure to be watching this blog because I'm getting super crafty soon and plan to post about my recent adventures. Little hint: It may, or may not include me using my inner carpenter..... Stayed tuned!
It's a place I've found myself.
I wrote down my schedule and everyday is filled with things to do. School, Work, Bible Studies and Church activities. All good right? Well sure, except for the fact that I feel like I'm not the actually the one living out that schedule.
I seem to rise out of bed only to fall back into it that night. So I heard some friends of mine saying they were going to record what they do each hour everyday. So I've decided to do the same
10 A.M. - Woke up, because I got to sleep in today! Yay! Showered, made lunch, and headed off to class.
11:10A.M.- Got to class a little late, it's okay they were just reviewing. Finished a worksheet, got a 60 { :( } on a quiz.
12:15 P.M. - Met up with some friends and ate lunch. Tried memorizing my new verses for this week... wrote them down a little so I guess it helped. Also I've been writing letters lately. Letters to people, especially people who are away from me. I remembered someone recently said to me that "You make time for the important people in your life" and I've taken it very seriously and I want to put more effort into people.
2:00 P.M. - Last class of the day! Earth Science Lab. I'm beginning to like this class a lot. We were learning about the spectrum of light and we got to draw and color today!
These glasses made everything look crazy and projectors look like magic stars and everyone was rainbows.
We also studied our solar system. And then made a scale model in the science building hallway.
And then there was some of this...
So! Got home around 4 P.M. knitted and made some bracelets a bit. Around 6 ate dinner and then I've been spending some time on the computer.
I feel like today has gone so fast. But I really like reviewing my day because it makes me realize that I do a lot of stuff. And I shouldn't just let my mind forget it at the end of the day!
If anyone out there actually reads my blog I encourage you to do the same :)
Love Always,
Christina
P.S.
Be sure to be watching this blog because I'm getting super crafty soon and plan to post about my recent adventures. Little hint: It may, or may not include me using my inner carpenter..... Stayed tuned!
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